Monday, July 11, 2011

Worst Comic Book Characters Ever!

1. Richie Rich:
This jobless inheritor of a vast fortune built upon the exploitation of workers and ravaging of the environment has the nerve to ask for sympathy with his billion dollar propaganda campaign declaring him "a poor little rich boy."

2. Jimmy Olsen:
Superman's annoying photographer pal with the itchy camera finger is the inspiration of every paparazzi.  Olsen's candid photos of Superman in his red underwear created our current era of celebrity skin.  Celebrity skin...  (drool)  Okay, maybe Jimmy Olsen isn't so bad.

3. The Hulk:
This green steroid freak inspired Arnold Schwarzenegger to pump his way to fame, thus leading to the groping of the state of California and many housekeepers.  (click here for more details)

4. Rubber Man:
Rubber Man may keep you safe, but it just doesn't feel as good.

5. Wonder Woman's Corset:
That golden bird-shaped bra thing is constantly in the way of two wonders of the world!  (Her magic lasso and magic bracelets.)  No wonder gold birds are an endangered species.

6. Clayface:
This Batman villain is just a ripoff of the lesser known "Mudface."  Mudface has the power to rejuvenate wrinkled skin with a patented formula of hydroxidates.  Mudface is the reason why Wonder Woman does not currently look like a 70 year old.

7. Robin:
The Boy Wonder does not have Wonder Woman's wonders and is 50% responsible for one of the worst movies of all time, 1997's "Batman & Robin."  And judging by Robin's costume, he is also color-blind.

2 comments:

Timothy Bowen said...

Robin used to be pretty lame, but now Robin is Bruce Wayne's sun Damien Wayne, and is a little sarcastic bastard. He's also very grim, and violent. Totally different vibe than any of the other Robins.

Funtastic List said...

Good points, but the only good Robins is bank robbin'.

That's just a joke, FBI.