Best Republican Candidates for President in 2012... Ever!
1. The Terminator: Not Arnold Schwarzenegger. The actual robot. A Republican President should have an iron fist and self-repairing circuitry since Republicans hate health care.
2. The Fictional Black President on "24": He has previous experience as President (although he was only President for 24 hours), he supports torture, and he wasn't born in Kenya.
3. George Lucas: He likes "wars" and robots like the Terminator. Plus the force is strong with him!
4. Alfred E. Neuman: The smiley-faced "Mad Magazine" mascot's signature catch phrase "What? Me worry?" ties in perfectly with Republican hatred of social safety nets.
5. Tina Fey: Republicans will like her because she looks like Sarah Palin, but we chose Tina Fey because Palin sucks. Literally, her husband said so. (Sorry, ladies, errr women, errr females?)
6. Dr. Barry Feinberg, DDS: This successful dentist likes to "drill, baby, drill!" Also, Sarah Palin's husband said Dr. Feinberg's broken saliva vacuum does not suck.
