Friday, March 25, 2011

Best News Stories of the Week!

1. Supercomputer Becomes All-Time Champion of "The Newlywed Game."
Scientists at Hewmert-Packer Technologies have invented a supercomputer known as "Sherlock" that is capable of defeating any human opponent in "The Newlywed Game."

GAME SHOW HOST: "Sherlock, where is the most unusual place you and your wife ever made whoopee?"

SHERLOCK: "In the butt."

GAME SHOW HOST: "Congratulations, Sherlock!  You are the all-time greatest 'Newlywed Game' contestant and ladies man ever!"

SHERLOCK: "Thank you.  I owe it all to the male/female port interface."

2. Game Show Host Pat Sajak to be Replaced by Apple's New Supercomputer, the "iPat."

3. Pat Sajak Vows a Comeback by Building Vanna White 2.0.

Star Wars parody shirt design: "Not long ago on a shirt too far away... someone got eyestrain from reading this."  Click here for more info.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Worst Holidays Ever!

1. Green Day: Holiday celebrating the drinking of Vulcan blood.

2. Green Day (American version): Good band, but no one wants to drink rock star blood either.

3. Buy A Greeting Card Day: The least creative Hallmark Card Company holiday.

4. Werewolf Eve: Too many have died in the name of this barbaric ritual.  And fur allergies are no picnic either.

5. Chewbacca Day: Too much like Werewolf Eve.

6. The Day After Saint Patrick's Day: Green vomit is both disgusting and an insult to regular vomit.

7. Goya Bean Flatulence Fiesta: The smell!  The smell!  Please, God, stop the smell!

8. Work Day: The absolute worst day of all.

A funny cartoon!  If cows could talk, this is what they would say.  Click here for more info.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Best Store Names Ever!

1. Hardware Store: Screw It Yourself

2. Natural Holistic Medicine Shop: Dirt Pharma

3. Electronics Store: Bzzzt Buy

4. Hamburger Restaurant: Cow Patties

5. Drive-Thru Hamburger Restaurant: Cow Patties Skid Marks

6. Video Store: Going Out Of Business

7. Clothing Store: Do I Look Fatshionable In These?

8. Erotic Car Repair Shop: Rubber & Wenches

Flying saucers destroying the world!  U.F. Oh No!  Alien humor imported to earth for the first time.  Get your laughs while you still can!  Click here for more info.