Thursday, September 15, 2011

Worst Urban Legends Ever!

1. Waking Up In An Unfamiliar Hotel Room And Discovering That A Kidney Was Removed:
False.  They take half of the brain.  The half that dumb people don't use.

2. Santa Claus Evicted Superman From His Fortress Of Solitude Home At The North Pole:
When the Daily Planet went out of business, Clark Kent was unemployed and could no longer afford the rent.  Clark Kent had to sell his glasses too.

3. Richard Gere Wants To Marry A Gerbil That... (EUPHEMISM ALERT) Somehow Burrowed Into His Bikini Area:
The Dalai Lama will perform the marriage ceremony.

4. Walt Disney Was Cryogenically Frozen And Used To Cool The Booze Of An Alcoholic Mickey Mouse Depressed By The Death Of His Creator:
An alcoholic Mickey Mouse...  That would explain why Mickey Mouse is often shirtless.

5. Waking Up In An Unfamiliar Hotel Room And Discovering That A Finger On Each Hand Was Removed:
Mickey Mouse always wanted five fingers on each of his hands instead of four.  Mickey Mouse blames Walt Disney for this deformity.

6. An Alligator Living In the New York City Sewers Crawled Up A Toilet And Bit Donald Trump's Head Off (CORRECTION: Bit Donald Trump's Butt Off):
Common mistake given where most people think Trump's head is located.

7. Batman Contracted A Disease From Touching Bat Guano In The Batcave:
Now you know why Batman wears gloves.