Thursday, May 24, 2012

Best Store Names Ever!

1. Hardware Store: Screw It Yourself

2. Natural Holistic Medicine Shop: Dirt Pharma

3. Electronics Store: Bzzzt Buy

4. Hamburger Restaurant: Cow Patties

5. Drive-Thru Hamburger Restaurant: Cow Patties Skid Marks

6. Video Store: Going Out Of Business

7. Clothing Store: Do I Look Fatshionable In These?

8. Erotic Car Repair Shop: Rubber & Wenches

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Best Nicknames For Presidential Candidates in 2012... Ever!

1. Mitt Romney: "Fist" Romney
It's a symbol of strength and tells voters what he'll do to the country.

2. Newt Gingrich: "Rich" Gingrich
It symbolizes his belief that all Americans can be rich.  You start off as a young kid working as a school janitor and work your way up to fabulous wealth as head of school janitorial services.

3. Rick Santorum: "Dick" Santorum
It symbolizes that he'll bring America back to the glory days of the 1950's, when women and minorities weren't uppity and "Dick" was a swell name for a fella.  It worked for "Tricky Dick" Nixon.

4. Herman Cain: "Her Man" Cain
All the ladies love "Her Man."  He gives them sausage pizzas and jobs... involving sausage pizzas.