Saturday, June 4, 2011

Best Videos of the Week... Ever!

1. Master Yoda and Slave Luke:
"Hot Jedi action!" (There's no sex.  Really!  Watch it below or on YouTube by clicking here.)




2. Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards' "An Inconvenient Truth About My Baby Mama."

3. Osama Bin Laden's "Sex Under the Sea" Video: 
"Hot mermaid action!  See Bin Laden use all his bullet holes!" (There's sex.  Really!)


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Best Republican Candidates for President in 2012... Ever!

1. The Terminator: Not Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The actual robot.  A Republican President should have an iron fist and self-repairing circuitry since Republicans hate health care.

2. The Fictional Black President on "24": He has previous experience as President (although he was only President for 24 hours), he supports torture, and he wasn't born in Kenya.

3. George Lucas: He likes "wars" and robots like the Terminator.  Plus the force is strong with him!

4. Alfred E. Neuman: The smiley-faced "Mad Magazine" mascot's signature catch phrase "What?  Me worry?" ties in perfectly with Republican hatred of social safety nets.

5. Tina Fey: Republicans will like her because she looks like Sarah Palin, but we chose Tina Fey because Palin sucks.  Literally, her husband said so. (Sorry, ladies, errr women, errr females?)

6. Dr. Barry Feinberg, DDS: This successful dentist likes to "drill, baby, drill!"  Also, Sarah Palin's husband said Dr. Feinberg's broken saliva vacuum does not suck.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Best Politically Correct Euphemisms Ever!

1. The Homeless: The Artists Formerly Known As Hobos.

2. Garbage Men: Collectors of lost art.

3. Nazis: Collectors of lost arks. (Mr. Spielberg, I need my check now.)

4. House Slaves: Waiters without benefits.

5. Field Slaves: The guy that mows my lawn.

6. Thieves: The greed-challenged. (Also known as collectors of "lost" money.)

7. Pirates: Real life Cap'n Crunches.

8. Pirate Henchmen: Real life Lieutenant Crunches.

9. Pirate Parrots: Culinary Delicacies.

War and peace... together at last?  Click here for more info.