Best Excuses Ever For Not Showing Up For Work!
1. Blame a sudden emergency weather condition. Say the words "FLASH FLOOD!" as often as you can as fast as you can.
2. Use patriotism to your advantage. Blame foreign terrorists that kidnapped you while buying Freedom Fries at your local American-owned fast food restaurant.
3. When using illness as an excuse, the more obscure the disease, the better. The common cold is for liars. Typhoid fever is for honest, hard-working people.
4. Say God ordered you not to work. Include the words "rest on the Sabbath" and "new religious holiday" as often as you can as fast as you can.
5. Say your boss had given you the day off but because your boss had been working SO hard, your boss forgot about it. Suggest that your boss could use a day off so that he/she doesn't lose the rest of his/her memory and smile with the satisfaction of a successful con!
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